I'm really tired from trying to decipher multiple social interactions and from wondering if I did all the correct things. Masking sucks and people can't tell how long I practice socializing in my head before I talk to someone. It's tough when I spend hours trying to plan out a minute long interaction and then the other person doesn't even interact like I thought they would. .
I wonder if I should mask or if I should stop but I've been doing it by whole life. The only way I know how to stop masking is be upfront and say sorry I don't know how to socialize, it doesn't come natural to me, I can't tell when you're serious or not or what your intentions are. I have said that and have gotten support and people saying don't worry it's ok, I can't tell you're trying to hide how awkward you feel. Well its good that I'm that good at masking but wow, people have no clue what's in my head. .
I spend hours a day trying to read people which I can't change but I'm tired from feeling like I have to watch everything I do and say and then evaluate it. I walk on eggshells around people all the time in fear of saying and doing wrong things but I don't want to live this way anymore. Not everyone has to like me and I don't have to care, so I want to act the way I please. Unfortunately I think I'll be masking for the rest of my life as it's built in my social survival and I literally don't know how to fully stop, I'm that used to it.. I learned to mask in the 6th grade. After years of bullying, I just shut myself out from the world and eventually brought out a new person who is happier, but isn't 100% me. I'm constantly filtering myself to protect myself from judgement, being made fun of and so on. Even the closest people to me get a filter at least to a small degree..
Er du klar for å stoppe prokastinering🧐?
Jeg utfordrer dere til ikke utsette et gjøremål, og slik kommer du i gang med å slutte å prokastinere.
NB! (jeg skal også være med på det, jeg er ikke noe perfekt altså🙋🏻♀️)
Skriv gjerne inn kommentarfeltet hva du syntes om utfordringen🙋🏻♀️