@miniand.me hat gestern einen schönen Beitrag zum Thema "Um wirklich zu heilen, musst Du vergeben!" geschrieben. Dass das für sie eine Option ist, wenn man das möchte, aber kein Muss, um wieder heil zu werden. Daran möchte ich gerne anknüpfen, weil ich mich gerade viel mit Dankbarkeit und Mitgefühl (compassion) beschäftige.
Ich hatte Jahre lang Groll auf meinen Vater (gewaltvoller Alkoholiker). So richtig dicken Frust, weil ich mich um meine Kindheit betrogen gefühlt habe. Und gleichzeitig den Schatten seines Tuns wie einen schweren Mantel auf meiner Seele spürte. .
Ich wollte die Erinnerungen abschütteln. Den Schmerz. All das Erlebte, was mich in der Gegenwart blockierte. Doch jedes Mal, wenn ich über ihn sprach, tauchte ich in dieses schwarze Gefühl ein - immer wieder in die Vergangenheit. Kopfüber.
Dann habe ich aufgehört zu kämpfen. Denn Teil der Meditationsübungen ist, anzunehmen, was ist. Die Verletzungen und Narben zu umarmen. Mich selbst - mit all meinen Ecken und den geerbten Verhaltensweisen, die ich manchmal so schrecklich finde.
Dann saß ich eines Tages in der Meditation und sah meinen Vater. All die kurzen Momente, in denen er glücklich war. Lachte. Versuchte Spaßig zu sein. Ein lustiger Mensch. Ich musste so weinen, weil ich erkannte, dass auch er tief in seinem Inneren Lebensfreude hatte. Ein gutes Herz. Aber er selbst (als Nachkriegs-Einzelkind mit unverheirateter, katholischer Mutter in Polen) einen noch viel schwereren Mantel auf seiner Seele trug, der ihn dazu trieb zum Alkohol zu greifen. Damit er ihn weniger stark spürte...
In diesem Augenblick habe ich zum 1. Mal tiefes Mitgefühl für ihn empfunden. Er tat mir aus ganzem Herzen leid, weil er es nie geschafft hat, sein inneres, trauriges und ungeliebtes Kind zu befreien. Ich habe ihn plötzlich verstanden. Und so erlebt, was Mitgefühl bedeutet.
Ich weiß, dass das nichts entschuldigt. Aber es hilft mir. Denn wenn ich jetzt von ihm spreche, dann schmerzt es nicht mehr. Mein Groll ist weg. Zudem bin ich aufrichtig dankbar, dass mir heute so viele Möglichkeiten, Menschen und Materialien zur Verfügung stehen, die kleine Kathrin in mir zu heilen. Denn all das fehlte meinem Vater ... ❤️
For #mygrit series' 3rd point: INVEST!
When we hear/read "invest", what comes to mind? Money? Properties? Banks, perhaps? Sure, they are good places to invest in but how about yourself, do you invest in you?
Investing in yourself looks like enrolling yourself to different enrichment activities, buying your comfort food, or simply going on a break to go to movies/spa. In the long run, you will not regret you took a chance on yourself. In this way, your goals can be attained and you can redeem a higher regard for yourself. It is self-care in pursuit of your dreams.
Invest in yourself and reap the fruits of your labor for you. --- We are down to our last point next week, can you guess what is "T"? 😉
This hospital selfie is my reminder that I am not bionic nor invincible, I am not limitless. But I am boundless, I am immense, and I am undefined. This is a reminder to set boundaries and respect them. This is a reminder to own your hustle, don’t let your hustle own you, take care of yourself first. Work, rest, play; find your equilibrium. This is also a reminder that my hair still looks pretty good after not washing it for like a week. 💋
Accountability to yourself
Throughout my fitness journey I have always had a struggle with staying accountable to MYSELF. If someone else is there to keep me accountable I’m fine and I am so motivated but if it’s just for me, I have a harder time motivating myself. Why is that?
I used to thrive in high school sports with a coach yelling at me but getting out of bed in the morning to do a home workout is such a challenge. Why?
I’m slowly changing my mentality day by day but it’s hard. I am my biggest cheerleader. I cannot expect someone to be there to yell at me to get out of bed in the morning for my workout. I can’t have someone standing next to me watching everything I eat throughout the day. I need to be MY OWN accountability and biggest supporter.
It’s a slow shift in mentality, but it makes a huge difference. You only get one you, so you might as well cheer yourself on! You are your biggest supporter and cheerleader! Do something today to make you happy! Do something today to make you feel strong! Do something today that makes you feel proud!! YOU DESERVE IT!
I don't know about you... But i found this passing full moon in Scorpio to be so intense! It played with my emotions, got me thinking of certain areas in life where I may be feeling a little stuck... In a way, making me step up to the inner voices & stop ignoring them. Also as always... This moon was aligned bang on my beautiful moon cycle. A double whammy of transitioning moon energy & hormonal waves!
I was giving myself the hardest time ever, doubting my path, self doubt, fears of not being enough, feeling unstable in everything... I was self sabotaging & could not shake it off! I went on my mat where I cried for a good 20mins, I let it all out. Some of it made sense & some of it was over critical! I pulled my self togther by breathing, moving, going over my mantra & teaching my class... Which brought me back to me, speaking my truth to know am not alone. We are not alone. I got the best hugs from my mum & my Monday Yogi's ❤️ Taking time out to heal is so important, when we work on ourselves so much stuff comes up, we carry others pain, the worlds pain... So no wonder sometimes we need space to just be. 'So Ham'... I am that, and even in our darkest times... Surrender & be what you feel. Love all aspects. It doesn't have to make sense, let it rise & carry on with more compassion for the self. You are divine in all lights. ✨
Been trying to focus on listening to my body and the world around me. That being said t25 was not working for me, I was sweating and I feeling sore and seeing inches go BUT it didn't feel good in my body. So, I stopped. Maybe I'll try again. 🤷🏻♀️ this mornings cardio comes to you from Rush Zumba! Who knew I could get 3,000 steps in 20 min!? I didn't expect that!
Remember you don't have to push yourself beyond your limits. Trust your gut and pay attention to what your body is telling you. Open yourself to see and hear what you need. Do what makes you feel good. Do what makes you feel proud. Focus on you. Doing for others or in spite of others might not be what your body/mind is trying to tell you. Stay strong friends and keep crushin those goals!
WEEKLY REMINDER; AFFIRM YOURSELF!⠀
Unpopular opinion: You don't need someone else to love you to feel loved. I repeat, You don't need someone else to love you to feel loved. In order to give love to others you must first learn to love yourself. In order to maintain positive relationships, you must first love yourself. So every morning, whether it's while brushing your teeth, showering or when you first get in the car, affirm yourself with this message. "I love myself because I deserve my love too,"⠀
Until Next Time,⠀
Adverse Childhood Experiences that harm children’s Developing Brains so profoundly that the effects show up decades later; they cause much of chronic disease, most Mental Illness, and are at the root of most violence. “ACEs” comes from the *CDC-Kaiser Adverse Childhood Experiences Study*, a groundbreaking Public Health study that discovered how Childhood Trauma leads to the adult onset of Chronic Diseases, Depression and other Mental illness, Violence and being a victim of violence. The ACE Study has published about 70 research papers since 1998. Hundreds of additional research papers based on the ACE Study have also been published.
The 10 ACEs the researchers measured: *Physical, sexual and verbal abuse. *Physical and emotional neglect. *A family member who is:
Depressed or diagnosed with other mental illness; addicted to alcohol or another substance;
in prison. *Witnessing a mother being abused.
*Losing a parent to separation, divorce or other reason.
Of course, there are many other types of childhood trauma — such as witnessing a sibling being abused, witnessing violence outside the home, witnessing a father being abused by a mother, being bullied by a classmate or teacher – but only 10 types were measured. They provide a useful marker for the severity of trauma experienced. Other types of trauma may have a similar impact.
Why are ACEs significant?
- ACEs are common…nearly two-thirds (64%) of adults have at least one.
- They cause adult onset of chronic disease, such as cancer and heart disease, as well as mental illness, violence and being a victim of violence
-ACEs don’t occur alone….if you have one, there’s an 87% chance that you have two or more.
-The more ACEs you have, the greater the risk for chronic disease, mental illness, violence and being a victim of violence. 🤷🏻♂️